Ya know what I hate? People who don't think. The ones who can't put others above themselves.. the ones whose own best interest is the only thing they care about.

I'm just saying. For my friends 18th birthday, I bought her favorite candy, made her favorite food, and bought her the cutest pajamas. Card too. When it comes to the people I care about, I try to show them I care. I show it any way that I can. If I have a friend that's not feeling so great, I do anything I can to cheer them up. I make cookies for people. I share my brownies.

Is it so horrible to expect a little something in return?

We all have relationships. We have them with family, friends, and some of us with significant others. Have you ever stopped to look at how healthy each of those relationships are?

I have plenty of one-sided relationships. I have a best friend that won't call me, and only sends a text my way about once a month. I try to send her one as often as I can, but gave up on the phone calls. I also have someone in my life that can't consider my feelings at all. It's all about that person. You know how much it hurts to care so much about someone who only cares about themself?

So, I'm not sure where I was going with this. I just feel so fed up with people that can't take my feelings into consideration when they're doing something. "You know what? I think Kellie deserves to be told she's beautiful." or.. "Wow, I miss Kellie. I should give her a call."

But that doesn't happen. Not even from the people I care about most.

I don't want pity, I want to understand. Should I just get these people out of my life? Find ones that think I'm worth a text, or a phone call.. even a compliment? Because I'm at a loss. I don't know what to do anymore.


Jenni said...

I have gone through this same thing recently and it really upset me. There were so many nights where calls went un-returned, plans were canceled at the last minute or events happened that I wasn't invited to (including a wedding of a girl who I thought was among my closest friends...) It took me a long time to accept that they weren't worth my time. Friends are supposed to make you feel good about yourself and mine were only making me feel worse. I would spend time with them and go home feeling stupid or not as important as them. I now call these people "toxic". They poisoned my thoughts and my mood. I don't have any room for toxic in my life anymore and I am much happier without it. :)

Cristina said...

I'm going through the same thing. On the one hand, I feel like I should just cut these people out of my life because they cause more grief than it's worth. On the other hand, it's so hard for me to let those friendships go, even if they aren't great ones. I guess you (I) just have to evaluate the pros and cons of keeping each of these people in your (my) life and make a decision. ...being a grown-up sucks!

Allison said...

I'm so sorry. I have felt this way once.. and it HURTS. really hurts. Especially if this is a person that you used to be good friends with, and you really trusted them, loved them, etc. I think you need to talk to them, and tell them "hey you know what? I feel like you don't love me anymore... etc" See what they think, and if they didn't mean to do that- maybe they're going through a rough time, too. You really need to see what they're thinking right now.

I really hope everything works for you!

Amy said...

People who can't be a friend to you, shouldn't be considered a friend. But that doesn't mean you should stop showing love and kindness anymore. Just don't put so much effort into those people that can't be a friend back. Don't hate them or avoid them when (more like if) they ever come to you. But you should try to move on. A real friendship is one that makes you feel good about yourself, one that makes you feel loved and cared about. I'm sorry you have to put up with stupid people. For what it's worth, I think your are beautiful and sweet and awesome and you deserve the bestest of friends who will always make you feel that way! :)

kelleidoscope said...

You guys are all great, and thanks for the input :)

I'll probably do just that.. distance myself but still be there when they need me. I don't like putting in so much but getting nothing in return, it's not really fair. The point of a friendship is to have a friend, not just be a friend :)

AngeliStarr said...

Definitely have one sided relationships. I have 3 particular people I could point out from the top of my head that I can classify as one-sided. Send me a text once in a blue moon, wall post on facebook, or whatever, only when they need me. Tired of that crap. That's why my circle is getting smaller and smaller and smaller and smaller AND SMALLER!

It takes 2 people 2 have any kind of relationship, its not a one way street.

kelleidoscope said...

Exactly :)
A friend should look after you just as much as you look after them. A friend is someone who will take your phone call at 3 AM.. buy you ice cream after a break up and sit there and talk to you when you need it.
Not someone who decides to talk to you..when they want to.

Sam said...

ugh, these relationships suck. i don't think you should cut these people out of your life or anything, but definitely put more effort into the good relationships, the ones you feel appreciated in. btw, i love your blog! :)