All's Well

All has been silent on the home front lately.

My move has completed.. and that is why I haven't had much to say.
It's kind of hard to put into words how I'm feeling, mostly because I'm feeling such a broad range of emotions. I'm angry, sad, relieved. 
I'm so relieved to be out of the situation I was in. I can breathe again. I don't have to feel a sense of dread when going home. I don't have to feel so unwelcome anymore. I'm angry at my brother and sister in law for putting me in that situation. I cannot tell you how many times the thought "Well, it's sister-in-law, not friend-in-law, I don't have to LIKE her." has run through my head. It is going to be a forgive, but not forget situation. I'll forgive them, eventually, but I'll never forget what they did. 
Maybe that means I'm not a good person. 

On the brighter side of the equation, I am one lucky girl to have such an amazing boyfriend. 
He has been, as cliche as it is, my rock. Always there to listen to me, doting on me, reassuring and comforting me, holding my hand through it all. He has been my calm through the chaos. I have to say that it is probably the greatest feeling in the world to be loved by someone so much. 

I definitely have not had the easiest time these past two months, but I've been figuring out how to get through it. I've been able to rely on Heavenly Father, my boyfriend, and a couple of great friends. They have all showed me the bright side, listened to my complaints, and assured me that everything would be okay. Things like that are just irreplaceable. Despite it all, I'm a really lucky girl. 


3 comments:

Sensaatio said...

You're not a bad person for not forgetting what happened with your sister-in-law and brother, I think it's completely normal. Now I don't know what exactly has been going on with them, nor do I need to know, but I don't think you should feel guilty for feeling a certain way.

Hang in there, remind yourself every day of the great things in your life!

Corinne said...

You're definitely not a horrible person. Everyone has to make decisions sometimes and although they aren't always easy, fun, or positive, I think your character really comes through when you go through with making those and how you handle them.

Keep your chin up, lady!!!

Kaitlin said...

I'm not sure what happened with your brother and SIL but whatever it is, I'm sorry. It doesn't sound pleasant and I'm glad you're out of that situation.

I'm so glad that Ryan has been there for you through all of this!

I'm glad things are better than they were. <3